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reality hurts

The funny thing is I have forgotten how to become really angry. I have forgotten the best way to react when I just hit rock bottom. I have forgotten about what I must be doing or should have done when it hurts. I have forgotten to feel.

It has happened too many times, that I am not sure what's happening anymore.

It has happened too many times that I am not sure if what I am doing now is the right thing to do.

It has happened too many times and now it is happening again.. that, truly, was it fake or real?

Funny but I don't feel human at all. I think I have become a robot. A super woman, maybe? Lol!

I have to start feeling again, but with the situation now, and how memories just flooded my brain cells again... I am not really sure.

The joke may be on me. But it sure feels not right, not humane, and honestly, I cannot even process.

Because I know, I cannot change anyone, because I know deep down, it may be the truth - there's nothing I can do.

Tears wouldn't fall, I've just become calloused. I am not sure what will happen next. All I know for now is that I should be hurting, but I don't feel anything. Just curious. Weird.

A movie in my mind.

I have to change gears, change channels and remember that my circumstances are but my reflection of my inner self. When I change my thoughts, my world around me changes.

I may have no control of what others feel or think. But I do.

I control my timeline. I control my reaction. I control my life.

God rescue please.

NAMASTE.


-day 124



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Comments

  1. AnonymousApril 17, 2012 at 6:47 AM

    if above post is related to our recent conversation, then i must say i felt annoyed at first. just remember, misery loves company and i don't want to be part of someone else's misery especially if it's solely his doing. i credit my husband for shifting my emotions.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousApril 17, 2012 at 4:43 PM

    If you're hurt, then you're still human...let those people know how you feel...then forgive!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gemma | My DailiesApril 18, 2012 at 11:24 AM

      Unfortunately it has become too complicated, too many involved and of legal matter/issue na. Indifference isn't the key. You're right on forgiveness, but justice needs to be served.

      Delete
  3. T.R.AureliusApril 19, 2012 at 1:14 AM

    I envy those people na hindi marunong magalet, haha

    ReplyDelete

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