The Big Question Mark!

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“What do you want?”, “What do you really want!?”

I’ve been asked that question too many times when I was applying at different companies in Makati (Business Capital of the Philippines). I had just resigned as College Instructor (in my hometown, 4 hours away) then because I wanted to see the world “outside of school”, and found myself at a lost as to what to do next! 

The transition from being a teacher to someone else was a BIG QUESTION MARK for me then. 

I applied as Customer Representative, Administrative Assistant, Bank Teller, Training Assistant and all the while I was just acting! I was not even sure if what I was applying for was what I really wanted! 

Maybe I was that transparent that the employer was confused too, point blank she said, “You have very good credentials and you are applying as Administrative Assistant? Is that really what you want?” And, at that moment, I just had to tell the truth. “I do not know.”

I left the building puzzled, all the more confused and frustrated.

That time, I just needed to call Mommy! I just wanted to confide so I told her that I had not found a job yet, money was running out and that I just wanted her to know.

I had to force myself not to cry and not feel defeated and I remember she told me, “Just come home…” and I answered determined “No, I can’t do that, I’ll not give up”.

Sometimes, we find ourselves lost, baffled, bewildered, uncertain and all the other synonyms related to being puzzled! But, for as long as we are determined to get through whatever challenges we may face, we will be able to conquer it.

Let’s hold on to our faith. Let’s us not give up. God (the Universe, the Higher Self, and whatever you conceive HIM to be) has something beautiful for us and He is just in the starting line. If we will just hold on, we’ll see it.

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NAMASTE.

-day 22-